Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
