i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
