You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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