Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
