Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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