I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
