Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
