just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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