while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
