So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
