He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
