I just made out with a guy for $7.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
