k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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