no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Your cock deserves a montage
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
