Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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