I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
