Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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