i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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