I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
