So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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