You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
