it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think your dad took our porno
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
