I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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