you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
