I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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