You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
