I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
