All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
