I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
