And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
