Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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