The maid of honor just puked.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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