There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i dont even know how to be here
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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