have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
