my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
