And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
