On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
