I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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