We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
