Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
