i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
