now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
