Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
