check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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