Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
