i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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