she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
