i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
