New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Randomize
