I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
