hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
